The Toronto Eaton Centre, 1990s, by Rheba Estante

From MemoryArchive

Who: Rheba Estante 
What: Toronto Eaton Centre
When: 1990 to Present Day
Where: Downtown Toronto

The Toronto Eaton Centre was the first place I visited when I was fresh off a plane from out West at 16. Although I was warned of the swarming by teenage gangs my first visit to the tourist attraction was like a kid in a candy store. I wanted to see every shop in the place. It was the first place I saw that imprinted on me what Toronto was and it is the last place I'll visit when I return home to California. In fact, it is the fountain in the centre of the first floor near the Queen Street subway entrance where many coins have been tossed for so many different wishes over the years. Every corner of the Toronto Eaton Centre is a hallmark of memory. By the way ... most of the wishes did come true in an odd way.

I worked there at different times in my life, at various places, and then during a two-year stint as a communications advisor with the Ontario government. There isn't a shop or restaurant that I haven't visited. And yes, the closing down of Abacus restaurant, Coles Bookstore, Glamour Shots, the old in-house police station, and other businesses that came and went made me feel like an old friend had been committed to memory. The day Indigo leaves the Eaton Centre I'll be very sad! How many hours have been spent drinking coffee while reading a good book while people watching from above.

When the Eaton Centre was renovated in 2002 and the branding changed, it was as if a Toronto landmark got a facelift that looked great ... but felt like something had gone. The familiar is cozy because it is just so familiar.

And about the wishes ... there were many afternoons as a teenager and college kid where I window shopped after treating myself to a Dairy Queen sundae (walking off the pounds looking at retail eye candy works!) ... fancying one of the security officers doing his rounds. It was the dimples that caught my eye. I never knew what his schedule was but every few weeks I'd be at the Eaton Centre when he was working. One afternoon during Lent I tossed a coin in the fountain that perhaps one day I would find out who he was. This admiration from afar lasted a year or so (perhaps longer but it was so infrequent it's hard to measure)and then I guess he quit. I forgot about it until 2004.

Did it come true? The wish to know who that boy was? Yes, about 13 years later when I was 29... and the boyfriend I always wanted as a teenager managed to steal my heart as an adult. Be careful what you wish for especially when you throw a coin into the fountain. You may forget the wish but someone up there doesn't. I'm glad they didn't.

It was a touch of magic that allowed a real introduction a decade and change later. The new Harry Potter movie had just opened in the theatres. I called someone I knew to see it on a Tuesday. We arranged to see it and meet near the Rainbow Theatre. When I arrived for dinner before the movie I saw my movie date talking to a man. She had invited a friend to join us on the spur of the moment as did I. Afterwards we went for coffee at the Golden Griddle (now a Korean Bistro) and when I found out the man worked in security I took a closer look at him. It dawned on me that he seemed familiar but maybe yes and maybe no. Of course, I didn't "get it" – even when he drove us home and we spent 4 hours talking outside my condo afterwards. He did tell me he got his professional start at The Eaton Centre but maybe it was late and I didn’t connect the dots just yet. Besides, I had forgotten about the fountain wish and his appearance had changed from skinny teenager to the build of an adult, plus he wasn’t wearing a uniform.

Just how did I find out that him and the boy I noticed from afar as a teenager was the same person? One afternoon when I was over for lunch I suddenly asked to see pictures of him as a teenager and early 20’s. The question came out from nowhere. He showed me old albums and then a photo of him at the Eaton Centre behind some baseball player. I looked closer at the picture and made the connection. Did I say anything. No. Why? I was afraid I would sound silly and he wouldn’t believe me anyway. Did I ever say anything? No. Too much pride in the way to admit to fate.

When the security guy and I finally got together I found out a few interesting things: We lived on the same street at the same time 10 years earlier - MacDonnell Ave, just steps away from each other. He patrolled a series of buildings, one belonging to YTV, near Atlantic Ave during the time when I worked at 99 Atlantic Ave in the late 90's. When I lived in the Annex at Palmerston Avenue and then Markham Street, he was on Manning just 3 blocks southwest of both my places, during roughly the same time in the early 90's. When I moved to Yorkville around 2000 he worked at a corporate office just 5 minutes away from my condo. And the night we met in St. Lawrence Market .... he was changing job locations back to another corporate office also just 5 minutes always. He said it was fate but at the time I wouldn't admit it too.

So how did it end? Well ... my best friend Kelly said she had never seen me so happy until she saw me with him. My college pal Michael said the same thing. But alas ... it was like the Blue Rodeo song "Bad Timing". He had a past he hadn't let go of .... and I had a future I had to follow. It ended during the August long weekend of 2005 at Ashbridges Bay (where the beach was reminding me of San Francisco) and one thing is true .... he was a Toronto love memory I will always remember no matter where I go. The saddest thing was that I didn't lose just one love in that relationship: I lost two - him and his mini-me child who looked just like him, with dimples too.

The final piece of irony was that for years I was joked about my destiny being with a "Captain America" type from New York or California. I got the idea from my girlfriend who believed her soul mate was a "Greek Knight" whom she eventually found on greekfriends.com and married. And - after years of thinking I had to cross the border to find that "kismet" moment ... it was indeed possible that the person was actually no more than 15 minutes away from me, on several instances. At the end of the day, he was special. There was a reason my teenage self caught sight of him long before my adult self got to know what he was all about. After all this time I often think that we should have met 10 years earlier than we did - perhaps time would have been on our side.

Lesson to all you young people (under 30) is: SAY HELLO. Don’t lose 10 years! Don't be afraid of the security officers at The Eaton Centre ... they are nice after all.

FYI: The following are the lyrics for "Bad Timing" by Blue Rodeo (So please... young people ... say HELLO NOW!)

Hey it's me what a big surprise Calling you up from a restaurant Around the bend Just got in from way up North I'm achy and tired now And I could use a friend Might be a fool To think that you do Want to see me again

I Know it's been awhile since I talked to you Nothing wrong Just nothing ever goes as planned Many times I thought I'd call Didn't have your number in my hand Well I know it's true You'd never do The same thing to me

I never meant to make you cry And though I know I shouldn't call It just reminds us of the cost Oh of everything we've lost Bad timing that's all

And maybe soon there'll come a day When no more tears will fall We each forgive a little bit And we both look back on it As just bad timing that's all

Used to have so many plans Something always seemed to turn out wrong Never could catch up to you Moving on and doing all you've done I don't know why The harder I try The harder it comes

I never meant to make you cry And though I know I shouldn't call It just reminds us of the cost Of everything we've lost Bad timing that's all

And maybe soon there'll come a day When no more tears will fall We each forgive a little bit And we both look back on it It's just bad timing that's all

We each forgive a little bit And we both look back on it It's just bad timing that's all