The 99-Cent Gift of Hope (Depression), 2000s, by Kurt Douglas Sass

From MemoryArchive

Who: Kurt Douglas Sass
What: Recovery from Depression
When: 2000s
Where: New York

I had been going through a major depression. In fact, I had pretty much been staying in bed the whole time. The only time I could even get out of the house was when my wife Valerie would literally drag me to the psychiatrist's office. As much as I tried, I didn't have the strength to do anything. I felt like a complete failure.

At one point, a good three months into my depression, I was finally able to get myself out of bed and take a shower for the first time.

Later that day, my wife went to the store. She returned with a bag from the local 99-cent store. I didn't think anything of it at the time, of course.

It wasn't until a few days later that I was able to get out of bed a second time by myself to take a shower. When I finished, I returned to bed and continued to think bad thoughts about myself, just as I had done for the last 100 days or so. A few hours later I happened to feel something under my pillow. It was a paper bag from the 99-cent store. Inside the bag was a small plaque. The title of the plaque said it all: "That Man is a Success."

I must admit that at the time it didn't register very much. I remember thinking, "What? Is she nuts? How am I a success lying in bed all day?" But as time passed, and I started to feel stronger and feel better, I also started to realize the importance of this little 99-cent plaque.

Even though at the time, I had been in my mind a quitter and a loser, she realized that I was fighting the depression with everything I had, and that she was genuinely proud of me.

As I continued to get stronger, the plaque served as a great motivator. If Valerie thought of me as a success, even at the lowest point in my life, then I knew there was still hope. This little 99-cent plaque served as one of the major tools in my recovery.

It's been seven years now, and although I luckily have never gone through another depression as severe as the one mentioned above, I have suffered through other depressions since then. And when they occur, I look to my little 99-cent plaque for help.

Reproduced with permission from New York City Voices, where you will also find more information about recovery.