Sliding into Dementia, 2006, by Anonymous

From MemoryArchive

Who: My Step Mum
What: Sliding into dementia
When: Summer 06
Where: Ontario

Let me start by telling you a little bit about my step mum. Her name is Alma and she was born Aug. 23, 1910. What an interesting life she has had. Imagine being born before telephone, air flight, space travel, computers and so many many more things that we take for granted.

I first met her in l968 when my Dad brought her to dinner at our house. They had both lost their spouses and while neither had any intention of marrying again, that soon changed and they were devoted to each other until my Dad passed away in 1992.

The years since my Dad's death have been very hard on her. She lived alone in an apartment in Toronto and she lost her sight due to macular degeneration. We tried to be there for her and included her in many family outings, however we moved 3 hours away and couldn't see her as often as was necessary for her care and well being and so two years ago she decided to move closer to us into a retirement home. At first she was quite content but slowly things started going wrong. People were "conspiring against her" and excluding her from activities and even sitting outside her room and talking about her. Last winter she fell and broke her right arm and as a consequence ended up in long term care at the hospital until a nursing home became available. During this time the paranoia became worse with many frantic phone calls to help her. Eventually she was transferred to a nursing home in Toronto because in her mind she would be closer to my Dad and also to all her friends (most had already passed on). This has not been a good move for her because now she thinks that the lady in the next room is somehow answering her phone and telling people that my Dad was a murderer! We know that the disease is worsening but some days it takes a lot of energy not to blow up at her. One minute she's fine and the next she's a totally different person. One minute accusing us of stealing her money and putting her on the welfare list and the next saying forgive me, I love you. This dementia is a terrible thing. In a perfect world this wouldn't happen.

This is an ongoing saga that unfortunately will end only with the death of our loved one.