My Lost Loved One, 2001, by B. C. Anderson

From MemoryArchive

Who: B. C. Anderson
What: Loss of my loved one
When: December of 2001
Where: Close to my house

I remember it as if it’d just happened, like I was still caught in the moment. So breathless and everything around me had stopped. I was so close, so close I could feel the warmth of his body next to mine. We’d meet out in the pasture under the old oak tree that slanted a little to the left. That was my place to go when I needed time to think. Now it was our special place, we used to meet there everyday after school. Everyday until the day he never showed up. I figured that maybe he had to work or run home to do something, so I climbed up in the tree to wait. After an hour and a half of sitting there hopeless, I decided to climb down and walk home. So many thoughts were running through my head. What if..this and what if..that. None of this made any sense. As I walked up to the gate I saw an ambulance rush by. I could feel my eyes water as I hated the thought of thinking it was him. I ran down the road to see what had happened. As I got closer, tears began pouring down my face. One of my neighbors’ horses had gotten lose and ran out in front of him. I sat there and watched the one person I loved die in front of me. I was so devastated and hurt, I felt like there was nothing left inside me. Empty. I ran over and sat down beside him, kneeling over him. I didn’t want to let go, but I had to. I told him I loved him and I would never stop loving him, as I gave him the last kiss good-bye.