My MICA (Mentally Ill and Chemically Addicted) Story, 1990s, by Ray Harrington
From MemoryArchive
Who: Ray Harrington What: My MICA Story When: 1990s Where: New York, New York
I am 38 years old and I am a MICA (Mentally Ill and Chemically Addicted) consumer. With the assistance of supports I have been clean and sober for four years and nine months. I have also not been hospitalized since 1997. I am diagnosed with Major Depression and I struggle with the challenge of my symptoms from time to time. Before I started my rehabilitation process my life was empty. I was lonely, lost and confused about my life. I did not want to end up in a psychiatric ward or in the streets homeless again.
I needed a lot of help and had to do some painful work on myself. Self help has empowered me to learn that I cannot recover by myself, however I have to make the effort to get better for myself. With the assistance of a Case Manager I was able to choose an Outpatient Day Treatment to address my MICA issues. I went to different types of recovering support groups. I worked with a psychiatrist that I could trust and this helped me to get the psychiatric help that I needed. I also worked with a therapist who helped me talk about my secrets and my inner thoughts I did not want to face. This process helped me to accept myself, open up and trust people with my feelings and emotions again.
Having a mental illness and a chemical addiction has been very challenging and difficult at times. When I was sad, depressed, angry, or felt rejected, in the past I would use a drink or drug to try to change the way that I felt. Many times it was hard to get out of bed or brush my teeth. I did not want to answer the telephone or the door. I always wanted to know why was this happening to me? What did I do wrong to deserve this? I can now look at those experiences as warning signs or triggers letting me know that I need to reach out for help and support.
The supports that I now use to help me to stay clean, sober and mentally stable are 12-Step support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Double Trouble in Recovery (a 12-Step support group for MICAs), taking medication, going to therapy and talking about my feelings. I am grateful to the members of the support group that I have attended because they loved me until I learned to love myself. Peer support and self help also gives me hope by allowing me the opportunity to see that treatment does work.
I remain at my Outpatient Day Treatment program. I have a part-time job that has helped me to continue to experience reaching goals in my recovery. I can hold my head up and say that I am somebody. I now go places and enjoy myself. New York City has a lot of supports to help MICA consumers who need it. If you are MICA you can get better if you are willing to make the effort.
Reproduced with permission from New York City Voices, where you will also find more information about recovery.
