Miles of Muck, 2006, by Seth Hammes

From MemoryArchive

Who: Seth Hammes
What: Four Wheeling
When: Summer 2006
Where: Down some dirt road

Miles Of Muck

We pull out of Curtis’s driveway looking forward to the day full of mudding ahead of us. Curtis is in front I am following close behind thinking about the ruff terrain that lies ahead. To get to where we are going we must pass through a small quad pass that is as little as 4 foot wide in some places, there are two creek crossings and about a thousand branches willing to take your head off if you are not careful. All of this is easy however in comparison to what lies in the last mile of the trail. In the last mile of a trail lies a mud hole so deep it could swallow a hole four wheeler. A real mud on the handlebars type of hole.

We come to the entrance to the timber. Curtis points to the entrance to be sure I see it. I give him a thumbs up and we begin our trip to the hole. It takes us about thirty minutes to get the 3 miles back to the hole, due to all of the obstacles along the way. We finally get there, kill our quads, and walk down to assess the terrain.

“She’s pretty deep,” Curtis says as he tries to keep his balance on the slick mud.

“Yeah,” I reply, “and loose.”

“Think that little 250 will make it?”

“Heck yeah it will, all Yamaha power,” I say.

“Right,” He says jokingly, “Let me go first, watch and learn.”

“Just go turd sniffer”

His quad roars to life and he floors it in an attempt to look cool and spits dirt and gravel out from the rear wheels. He Plows through the first 12 of the 20 yards of the pit then has to stop and put it in four wheel drive. He was shaking and shaking in an attempt to get traction on the slick bottom. Inching along it seems like it takes him forever to finally get across. He finally does and raises his arms in triumph. Then he yells your turn and I hop on my four wheeler and get ready to give it my all.

I turn the key and push the button. I squeeze the handle bars feeling the rubber beneath my hands and the rumble from the engine beneath my seat. Without the luxury of four wheel drive if I am going to get across this thing it is going to be with sheer momentum. So I back up an additional ten yards and get ready to go. I rev the engine once twice then shift into first and floor it. First gear, second, third, fourth I am going probably between 35 and 40 when I hit this thing. Due to sheer momentum I go through the first about twelve of the twenty yards without a hitch but am loosing speed fast.

I shift down in an attempt to gain more torque but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I start shaking the quad to give it more traction. Seven yards left, six, five, by now I feel like by now I am just inching along, four, three, two one. I had made it. I hop off the quad and do a little victory dance. Curtis comes up to me and says, “good job Seth.”

I Reply, “I know I am simply amazing.”

“Yeah, yeah” he says, then ruins my celebration by saying, “So are you ready to go back.”

Six times I had tried to beat that mud hole and only once did I prevail. Needless to say I didn’t make it back on the second try. I got half way there when I hit a dibbit and the whole front rack went under. I got soaked trying to get it out. But about 20 minutes and two butt plants into the mud I finally made it. Even though the ending to my perfect day wasn’t so perfect. Any day that I get to go four wheeling is a good day to me.