Memoir of Myself, 2007, by Bryan Woon
From MemoryArchive
Bryan Woon Zhiyang made his first cry on 24th September 1985, a short 5 days after an 8.1 Richter scale earthquake strikes Mexico City<ref>[1]</ref>, and 116 years after “Black Friday”, which explains Bryan’s inclination towards economics during the early stages of his formation.
Contents |
Early life
Bryan attended St. Andrew’s Junior School at the tender age of 7 until he was 12 years old, before moving on and spending another 6 years of his life at the elite institutions in Singapore, Raffles Institution and Raffles Junior College, which strikes a striking resemblance to the ruling white party with its all white attire. It still remains a mystery today why did he not move on along the lines of the St. Andrew’s tradition, and decided to jump ship and move to greener or rather whiter pastures towards the Bishan-based Raffles brand. The current St Andrew’s Junior College principal, Mrs Lim, laments about the inability of the previous administration in the Junior School to retain Bryan, as Bryan had shown great promise and potential, at a young age when everyone was just interested in playing in the sandpits.
Early Career
Bryan taught English at Shuqun Secondary School. Students adore him, and on his last day of school, students like Regina was very sad and even felt like crying<ref>[2]</ref>. Bryan has perhaps reached superstar status among his students, with his good looks and outstanding teaching skills which allowed many students to pass their first English test under his guidance. Bryan loves to use new methods of teaching, and even once showed a Rurouni Kenshin show to his class, perhaps to inspire them to believe that the Japanese language is vastly superior to the English language.
Bryan, coming of age, wishes to achieve enlightenment. That explains why he became Tang San Zang, a monk who set out on his way together with 3 of his disciples and a white horse on a Journey to the West to obtain the scriptures. The group has to undergo several tribulations, with encounters with bus conductors being the prime and most testing tribulation. Whether they obtained the scriptures is currently unknown, with the group last seen around London Victoria Station, with witnesses witnessing strange people dressed up like a monkey, pig and a horse.
Current Situation
Residence
Bryan is currently resident in the boring boring Claycroft, in the “middle of nowhere” campus of the University of Warwick. It’s expensive and overpriced for a room, but being a prophet himself (Bryan is trained in fengshui and astrology), he knew that good things will happen to him while he is living in Claycroft.
Studies
Bryan is currently on course to achieve his first class honours in Industrial Economics, and have shown great potential to become an outstanding academic like Dennis Leech, who teaches the Computing and Data analysis module in the University, under the Economics department.
Asked if he would be similar to Dennis Leech in style, Bryan replied, “yeah, why not? Raffles have inculcated in me values similar of that to the revered Dennis, and I’ve been having one-to-one sessions with him in order to learn the vast experience Dennis possess.”
Hobbies and Interests
Bryan has a wide array of interests that he keeps himself occupied with in the University of Warwick. First of all, bulk of his time is spent with a lovely girl he got to know just a few months ago. With her they would go to Old Trafford and watch Manchester United lose, and return all sad and would spend more time together contemplating about why Manchester United lost.
Bryan is also an avid runner, and had traveled to far away Rotterdam in the Netherlands and Singapore to run 2 full 42.195km marathons in sweltering heat of 32 degree Celsius and up. Running has been his passion, and he is also part of the Warwick Athletics and Cross Country Club.
Bryan is a movie and TV/anime addict. Due to the Raffles influence again, he loves kid-dish movies like The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings, where he envisages himself as Peter, an inconsequential orc who was perhaps not even mentioned in the original book written by J. R. R. Tolkien anyway. He is also a sadist, like all Rafflesians are, who love the anime Death Note to pieces, and a perverted freak, who loves Love Hina and keeps watching and re-watching it in his own private space. However, he breaks the Raffles trend when it comes to books, and it seems that Bryan do not really have many favourite books.
Since coming to University, Bryan has taken particular interest in laundry-ing and tesco-ing<ref>[3]</ref>. “The sight of the washing machine thrills him”, he says. Tesco is also fast becoming an integral part of Bryan’s life, with a weekly routine that must definitely include at least 2 trips to Tesco. However, Bryan is not like a typical University of Warwick undergraduate, who goes plainly for Tesco’s value food. Bryan loves to go for a healthy lifestyle, as he has the ambition of becoming the ambassador of Singapore’s healthy lifestyle campaign when he returns home after achieving his wonderful degree.
Bryan also wishes to meet Roti Prata, Nasi Lemak, Hor fun, Sushi, Chicken rice etc, just to name a few<ref>[4]</ref>. It’s a wonder as to why Bryan wishes to meet these people or things instead of real life human beings, but Bryan said “I want them to tell me how did they manage to hide so well, well away from the mouths and stomachs of all the ang-mohs! I need some advice to get away from all the British and Europeans around me!”
Achievements and recognition
- Awarded the International “Keep Silent about Your Girlfriend Award 2007”, which have the same international standing as the Nobel PrizeAward. It’s testament to Bryan’s ability in this particular field as he achieved this award after only 4 months into the year 2007! Judge Prof Sherwin said “Bryan is perhaps the best that we’ve seen since the establishment of this award since 1889, and therefore the panel decided to not consider the rest of the potential candidates”
- Awarded the National “Never Say Bye After a Phone Conversation” award for 9 years running. Bryan first obtained this award at the age of 13, after he joined the Raffles connection, and have never looked back since. When asked whether he sees himself holding onto this award in the near future, he replied “This award is special and means a great lot to me. It just shows how unique I am as compared to others. It’s a special skill that take ages to master and I just do not see any competitors even near my level currently.”
Favourite Quotes
- "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Adopted shortly after his prized catch, which he tried to deny.
- "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. "
The reason why Bryan knew that? He was a seagull in his previous life, and because he managed to escape drinking the Meng Po Soup before he was reincarnated, he still retains memory of his free-flying years. That’s why he has the ability to talk to animals, especially his favourite dog, Ohlsson, as he is able to understand what they are saying and how they actually feel. And what do they really want? Food. That’s also the reason why Bryan goes to Tesco at least twice a week.
See also
References
Categories: All Memoirs | People | 2007
