Memoir of Myself, 2007, by Nicholas Foo
From MemoryArchive
Nicholas Foo, or better known as Nic or Uncle T, made his first cry on 2nd May 1985, 100 years after the Congo Free State is established by King Léopold II of Belgium<ref>[1]</ref>. People refer Nicholas as the gossiper, and regard Nicholas as the reincarnation of Hedda Hopper, an American gossip columnist who was born exactly 100 years before Nicholas.
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Early life
Nicholas was born crying in some ulu area of Singapore (See Singlish), and spent the early part of his life, or rather even up to now, bullying his younger sister and making her believe that all brothers bully their sisters<ref>[2]</ref>. According to his sister, Nicholas is actually very vain and hogs the one and only human sized mirror and home, and spends most of his time at home trying to choose between which clothes to wear.
Early Scholarly Career
Nicholas studied in Bedestha Kindergarten, and to allay fears of certain readers, it actually has its home in the very ulu and run-down town of Ang Mo Kio, where the governing authority was too busy to do anything about it as they are always busy with other commitments.
Nicholas proceeded on to St. Michael’s Primary School, which is a wonder to many as only people named Michael are allowed admittance to the school. Reliable sources said that Nicholas was actually named Michael #3927 during his primary school years but this cannot be verified.
Upon achieving a high 241 in the annual Put Shit Let’s Eat (PSLE), which placed Nicholas in the Top 10 of his cohort, he went on to pursue his secondary education in St Joseph Institution. Nicholas spent most of his time spying at Singapore Chinese Girls School as what all SJI boys will do, as the skimpily-clad girls in uniform are perhaps too much of a temptation for a young and maturing boy to bear. The musical talents of Nicholas came to great use as he composed a song for his secondary 4 graduation ceremony, where many of his peers were moved and touched by it, and started to come forward to confess their love for Nicholas. Too bad all were boys.
Nicholas obtained a grand score of 7 for his O’levels, and immediately proceeded on to National Junior College to progress on his academic studies. When asked what prompted him to choose NJC over RJC or HCJC, Nicholas answered, “I wanted to build a family as all guys does, and only NJC values coincided with it, as college song starts with ‘Building a family…’”. Closer sources to Nicholas revealed that it is actually because Nicholas identifies with the spirit of NJC, with greyness and dullness being the predominant culture of any NJC students.
Nicholas, did the college proud by achieving distinctions in his A’levels, and is currently studying politics, philosophy and economics in the University of Warwick, a university which prides itself on being the best OUTSIDE of London and Oxbridge universities.
Current Situation
Residence
Nicholas currently lives in Tocil, an accommodation block where everyone uses their own stuff and gets pissed when people uses theirs without asking, or worse still, without washing up after using. “The smell of wheat fills the air in my room”, he says, and is unclear why Tocil has this particular smell lingering on around, especially only in his flat.
Football
Nicholas supports Liverpool Football Club, which just got into the Finals of the UEFA Champions League. One wonders why does he supports Liverpool, and the reason lies behind the fact that Nicholas does not want to be a glory hunter, and chooses to support a team that cannot win trophies in the future. True enough, alliances close to Nicholas suggests that Liverpool is going to finish the current season empty handed, and is also going to lose the third placing in the English Premier League to Arsenal.
Hobbies and Interests
Nicholas is a walking circus, as described by a few of his close acquaintances. He would always be singing, dancing, acting, juggling, bluffing teenagers with chocolates and candies. Which perhaps explain why Nicholas does not have any favourite TV shows, as the greatest entertainment would be just to stand in front of the mirror and look at himself.
Achievements and recognition
- Nicholas was recognized in the recently concluded Largest Warwick Singing Competition, “The One” by i-dunno-the-name Grammy award winner. The Grammy guy declared Nicholas a winner, and Nicholas responded bluntly after the contest, “Win? If he thinks I really won, just give me the money and trophy lah!”
