Grandfather's Suicide, 2000, by Steve Walker

From MemoryArchive

Who: Ron P.
What: Grandfather's Suicide
When: October 2000 
Where: New York

I was visiting my grandparents. My grandfather had been sick with cancer, but the chemo worked. He no longer had cancer but his heart was weakened. For this and many other reasons he had to take a couple of dozen different medications every day. He was about seventy, and he frequently hallucinated. For example, he would have intense war flashbacks and dive on my grandmother to save her from phantom gunmen in the living room. He was very weak and we all knew he didn't have much time. I went outside to get some food out of the garage freezer, when I heard a gun shot. By the time I ran inside my grandmother was crying and screaming in the back room. When I ran into the room I saw him laying there with a gun shot wound in his chest and his shotgun laying next to his body. After the shock of the incident passed, we realized that he was in a better place because when we last saw him he was hardly himself. At the same time we couldn't help feeling that it was a selfish act. My grandmother was obviosly the most upset. It was so sudden and he didn't leave a note or say goodbye in any way. My grandmother searched his clothing pockets and other hiding places for months for a note. She never found anything.