Coming Back: Don't Let Your Diagnosis Block Your Vision, 2000s, Meera Popkin

From MemoryArchive

Who: Meera Popkin
What: Schizophrenia
When: 1997-2000s
Where: New York

I was on Broadway-"Cats"; I was on London's West End-"Miss Saigon" as Miss Saigon; I was in Andrew Lloyd Webbers' "Starlight Express." Then in 1997, I was diagnosed with a mild case of schizophrenia. What me? I couldn't believe it.

I have been told I was a high achiever, earning either an A or A- in all my classes. In trying to reach my potential, how many wrong turns did I make in my life to be diagnosed with such an illness?

I'm now depressed because I'm schizophrenic. They said my thinking wasn't clear; I had bad judgment. My life came to a big pause, after two hospital visits. My parents panicked twice and had me admitted. After that, I could not get hired. Inevitably, I lost my house, my car, my dog, and my boyfriend. Most of all, I lost my spirit and confidence. My world was shattered. I didn't know what to think of myself. I was slowly losing touch with friends, and my sight on perfection was fading. I started sleeping a lot. I became sluggish and lost my drive.

What could I do? I could work on getting the things back that I lost. I'm working on it. I have a fighting spirit inside me, and road to recovery is in my sight. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have a job as a waitress, and I have started going out and dating again. I also got a job with a dinner theater doing the X-mas spectacular show. Furthermore, the AMDA (The American Musical and Dramatic Academy) accepted me. As a result, I have completed several shows: "Godspell," "Annie," "Once Upon a Mattress," and "Little Shop of Horrors."

Either I am getting better or treatment is working. I barely accept my diagnosis. Sometimes I don't even believe it's true, but regardless life chimes on. Time to "buck-up," as my father would say. Maybe I don't need all those external factors (e.g., the house, the dog, the car, the boyfriend, etc.); maybe I'm enough. I can make it. Life isn't over. Now I'm up for two Broadway shows and I'm dating steadily. I've got a great apartment in Gramercy. I have a fabulous roommate, and a full schedule. I've been going to the Awakenings support group, and have enjoyed it thoroughly. I feel very supported. I go to my doctor once a month. I'm a martial artist, taking Northern Eagle Claw Kung Fu classes, and I often have time for dance class. I work out and I'm active in my Actors Equity Union. I have a voice lesson once a week and I practice all the time. My synagogue helps a lot too. I go there on Friday nights. I love praying at the services; it's so inspirational.

Every once in a while, I go back to sleeping a lot but I'm really trying to kick that. Life isn't perfect, but sometimes it sure feels that way. I went from a dead halt in my life to a rich and fulfilling life.

I hope this story is an inspiration to you and encourages you to keep going. Do not let an illness keep you from having a great life. It's just a diagnosis, nothing else. We can live with that!

Reproduced with permission from New York City Voices, where you will also find more information about recovery.