Celebration of Wellness, 1990s, by Lynn Randazzo

From MemoryArchive

Who: Lynn Randazzo
What: Mental Illness
When: 1990s
Where: New York, New York

I am celebrating my mental wellness. My first introduction to mental illness was in 1994. I had worked since I was 17, and enjoyed a business career in the advertising business for over 20 years in the mainstream community. I lost my job in 1992 and everything went downhill from there.

I wound up in a state run psychiatric facility on Long Island with a diagnosis that the doctor was having trouble defining. I was totally disoriented, delusional to a degree, and very frightened. I knew nothing about mental illness and my family, though supportive, knew even less. I was given medication (Haldol). The side effects forced me to experience excruciating pain. The stiffness was unbearable and the doctor kept insisting that he could not take me off abruptly. I finally couldn't take it anymore so I refused my medication. The doctor gave me something else and I started to feel better. I stayed a little while longer as I had no where to live and did not want to live in a group situation.

My cousin finally found me a small converted garage apartment where I could cook and be near her. I was in a poorly run aftercare program after release, where I saw a psychiatrist and a case manager for a brief period of time. After depleting my own personal savings I decided to go back to Queens to take the opportunity to go back to work. Of course, that was too big a step to take so quickly.

I wound up losing my job, and there I was in for a second hospitalization. The difference was this time, once I became stabilized, I had wonderful services available to me run by caring individuals that assisted me on my road to recovery. My family continued to be supportive throughout my entire experiences. My friends were and still are another major source of support for me and their caring has meant everything to me. I feel mentally healthy. I have regained my self confidence and was given the opportunity to once again be a productive person with hopes, dreams and desires.

The people I will always be most grateful to are my peers. The people I lived, laughed and cried with in my supportive housing program. The people I met and worked side by side with who shared and encouraged me to succeed in my vocational endeavors. My peers who I learned from and shared strategies with at my volunteer job. All of these people have taken me to this point in my life. Without I am convinced it would not have happened. I feel I now have a personal commitment to my peers to contribute whatever experiences I have to offer so that all of us together can re-enter our community in a strong and positive manner and maintain and demand the respect and dignity we are entitled to.

Reproduced with permission from New York City Voices, where you will also find more information about recovery.