A Moment in Time, 1996, Emily N Lisby
From MemoryArchive
Emily N. Lisby Father's Death November 1996 Shelbyville, KY
Have you ever lost something, so precious to you? I didn’t realize how precious my father was until he was no longer in my life. I could no longer seek him for advice. There were no more carving pumpkins at Halloween, to see who had the best one. I remember this moment in time as if it was yesterday. At the time, I was only fifteen years old. Unfortunately, I did not appreciate those prized moments until they were gone. Now, let us examine my precious moments in time. It was November 1996, on a cold rainy Friday night, my father and I had planned to go to Light-Up Shelbyville together. This was an annual event held by the City of Shelbyville, to present the community with Christmas decorations. It reminded me of a village scene out of the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life.” You had carolers on the street corner singing songs of new and old. There were vendors selling hot chocolate and coffee. You could see the joy written on everyone’s faces. However, that was not the case for me; due to the fact my father did not accompany me that year as he previously promised. I felt like a child who had their favorite toy taken away. By him breaking his promise to me, it was like taking a knife and stabbing me in the heart repeatedly. When I questioned him regarding his behavior, he stated to me that he was not feeling well. At the time, I couldn’t bring myself to accept his excuse. Before the conversation ended, he asked me to come see him. Regrettably, my anger and frustration took the best of me and, I did not appreciate the severity of his illness. Therefore, I was quick to deny his request. Consequently, I demanded my mother to accompany me to the festive event. As I stated earlier, it was a foul frigid night. All I could think about was going home to my comfortable bed, where I would be warm and dry. Upon arriving home, I called to check on my father. Never the less, I was not able to communicate with him. His girlfriend advised me that he was sleeping, and thought he was feeling much better. Furthermore, she recommended that I need to quit worrying and would have my father call me in the morning. Heeding her advice, I went to bed and did not concern myself with the situation at hand. Little did I know, by the time morning would come, my life would never be the same. The following morning there was snow on the ground. The only fresh tracks in the drive way were from my aunt’s vehicle. My brain was questioning the motive behind her presence at seven o’clock in the morning. When she walked through the door, I could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were swollen and her nose was cherry red. My mind was not capable of justifying her visit. Shortly after, I was shocked to learn, that my father was no longer a part of my life in the physical realm. When my mother along with my aunt, broke the news of my father’s death to me, it was extremely hard to comprehend. I felt like crawling underneath the covers and starting the day all over again, only to wish what had taken place was all a dream. So many thoughts racing through my head accompanied by guilt and regret, due to the way I treated him the previous day. The days following this tragedy, my mother tried her best to keep me occupied. As a result, an entire day would be devoted to preparing my father’s funeral. From picking out his casket to the flowers and types of music that would be played during the ceremony. Then, we moved to the hours in which my dad could be viewed by friends and family. The first two days, would be the viewing only. The third day would be viewing and the funeral. My cousin and I had decided to fill my father’s casket with material things that he cherished. I chose my freshman picture from high school, which my father never saw. That picture was going to be a Christmas gift to my father. I wrote a letter to my father on the side of the picture. It was something special I wanted to tell him, but the opportunity had been cut short. This was the instant when I told my father good-bye. It would be the last moment I would get to see my dad’s face as if he were sleeping; a quick nudge or pinch would wake him from his slumber, only to be a figment of my imagination. After laying my father to rest, I surrounded myself with a family that truly loved me. I felt closeness to my mother that I had never felt before. Only to find my mother would become my best friend and play the rolls of mother and father. This did not take her long to adapt to. We were able to come up with our own unique way to celebrate his life. He was a person who loved Christmas in many ways. Therefore, my mother and I decided that the weekend of Light-up Shelbyville, we would put up our Christmas tree in his honor. Now that I am older, I share this moment with my fiancé. This has helped me appreciate the true meaning of Christmas, to cherish the ones around you that bring joy to your life and to celebrate the birth of Christ. Let me end by saying, that there is nothing more important than your family. No matter what takes place in life they will always be there for you. Sadly, we take our families for granted and do not give them the appreciation they deserve. It is never too late to give them the honor and dignity they ought to have. We must cherish each second that we are able to spend with them. Due to the fact, they are not immortal. We must keep in mind that one day they will be gone and only memories will keep them alive.
