A Further Missive from Smash Jackson, 2007, by Marshall Poe

From MemoryArchive

Who: Marshall Poe
What: Another letter from Smash Jackson
When: January 26, 2007
Where: Washington, DC to Ann Arbor, MI

This is the second installment in a series of letters from my friend Smash Jackson. He has, you will recall, been reading about Peter the Great. In this letter, Smash appoints himself executioner in my kingdom, Warencel. I can't wait.

Dear Count Tilbrook Muckle Poemanov,

I am very excited about my lloooooooonnnnnnnggggg future as YOUR PERSONAL KILLER OF YOUR FOES!!!!!!! ONCE YOU are the tsar of Warencel (see other spelling of Lawrence), the once and future arising kingdom, I shall definitely repeat the l600's actions of Valiki Pete!!!!! I essentially quote here Count Poemanov!!!!!!! Pete was really PISSED at the actions traitorous actions of three of his boys. Colonel Ivan TYSKLE and two boyars. As the info. says, these traitors had urinated off Valiki Pete. The three men were bloodily executed on Red Square. They lost their arms first and their legs--TO THE AXE (I am already cheering LOUDLY with a new megaphone!!!!!!!!) and then their heads. Valiki Pete HATED then the MILOSLAVSKY family (of which I, Count Poemanov, am a great and distinguished descendant!!!!!!!!) Valiki Pete had Ivan Miloslavsky's coffin placed on a sledge and yoked to a team of swine--YES, SWINE, Count Poemanov--and dragged into RED SQUARE. The coffin was opened BENEATH--YES, BENEATH, Count Poemanovsky!!!!!!!!!--the execution block SO THAT, COUNT POEMANOFF, the blood--Yes, BLOOD, COUNT Poemanov--of the newly condemned men would SPLATTER--Yes, COUNT EMTEEPEE--the face of the corpse!!!!!!!! Hooray and Hallelujah!!!!!!! This is NOTHING, Count Pee, compared to what I, YES COUNT, will do!!!!!!!! I, COUNT, WILL MAKE OLD FAITHFUL look like a weak PISS by a day--old puppy!!!!!!! ENOUGH for now, COUNT SCARED-TO-DEATH, of the genius methods of torture of YOUR devoted ENEMIES.

Yours in wicked AND evil thought, action, and DEED,

Smash Jackson, modern torturer, killer and happy murderer!!!!!!!