That Awful Day, 1998, by Kelly

From MemoryArchive

Who: Kelly
What: Grandma's Death
When: '98'
Where: Indianapolis

Pain, sorrow, and suffering. Those are words that come to mind when you think of that special someone who’s left you in life. And when I say that, I’m referring to death. Every time someone close to us dies, a wave of hopelessness washes over us as we think, “What am I supposed to do without them?” For those first couple of months we grieve, but eventually we accept that they’re in a more joyous place than this earth can provide, and their pain and suffering in life has come to an end. I’ve experienced an event like this once in my life, and I’d like to share with others the feelings and thoughts that were going through my mind at the time. It was the winter of ’98,’ and it was the same kind of winter as usual. There was fluffy white snow on the ground, and it was chilly outside. There were children building snowmen and drinking hot chocolate just as children did every winter. At this time, I was in the first grade and seven years old. And, like I said, I felt that everything was normal until the dreadful night I heard the news. My mom and dad told me that my grandma Clara had fallen ill. I know it’s horrible, but at first, I wasn’t really worried about it. Not until they took me to see her. When we arrived at her house it was not a cheery, warm setting like it usually was. The lights were dimmed, and it felt as if the house hadn’t been lived in for years. My grandma was in the very back of the house on a hospital bed, in a hideous, grey hospital gown. Her skin that was once soft and peach colored was now dull and gray. She looked as if she was shriveled from all the weight she had lost, and her breathing was very labored and slow. Mom and Dad told me she had breast cancer, and when they talked to me, they had a look in their eyes that said, “She’s not going to make it through the night.” By this time so many thoughts were rushing through my head about her still being with us tomorrow. It was just too much to take in at once. We stayed for just a little longer, and had to leave. I can’t remember now if it happened that night or the next day, but hearing the news is still very vivid in my memory. My parents came in and sat my brother and me down on the couch, and they were on the verge of crying their eyes out. At that moment I knew. I didn’t want to hear it, but they told me that grandma had passed on. This information was again, too much for me to take in, so I just kind of sat there with a blank expression on my face. Then my mom and dad told us it was time to go to bed. By the end of the week, it was time for the funeral. A lot of my family and friends of the family were there. Everyone was standing around talking about how it was tragic that Grandma had left us. But pretty soon, it was time for everyone to pay their respects to her up close and personally. This was one of the worst moments of my life that I can ever remember. Up until this point, I’d been trying to hold back the tears, but when I saw her lying there in her casket, I cracked. I started crying my eyes out, letting all my emotions flow out at once and asking her, “Why did you leave me?!!” Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder, and my mom was there to comfort me even though she too had a tear streaked face. I couldn’t stand to stay up there any longer, so I took a seat waiting for the funeral to begin. Once everyone had taken their seat, a minister stood up to read scripts from the bible, and to talk about what a great person my grandma had been. He also said that she was now away from all the pain and suffering that her cancer had caused her, and that she was now in God’s hands. After the funeral was officially over, most of the family went to her burial site to pay their final respects. Then everyone conversed a little more, and we all left. My brother and I had to go back to school even though we were still upset, but after time, I learned to accept that my grandma wasn’t coming back, and I had to move on. It’s been about eight years now, and I still think about my grandma and that unfortunate day she left us. Luckily, she was able to get us early Christmas presents before she passed, and when I see the doll she bought me, I remember all the good memories I had with her. After that day, I learned some powerful lessons about death. Even though someone may have left us from this earth, they are still with us in our hearts and souls, and they’re in God’s faithful hands which have ended their pain and suffering on earth. And, we can’t dwell on someone’s death because it will eventually destroy our lives, but we can keep them in our memories and know that they are always watching over us from above.